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As we drove out we passed a pile of fly covered afterbirth that a first year heifer had left while calving out in front of the bunk house the day before. I’d never seen after-birth before I arrived at the dairy and it was amazing to watch it slowly work its way out of a cow’s vagina, all multi-brightly- colored arrangements of tubes and placenta shiny things. I was also amazed at how relaxed the cow, a heifer, was “freshening” (birthing) for the first time with all that slimy stuff hanging from her all the way to the ground. It was like she owned instant experience.It took quite a long time before it finally let go and piled up to wait for the flies to begin their work. In other words nobody bothered to remove it so my parents could see life on the farm from the convenience of their shit smell ridden vehicle packing a naked guy in the back seat who had a boner and a mouth full of cookies.Crazy thoughts prompted me to visualize shocking my parents by getting out of the car and enjoying. . , “ the Chief Justice intoned.“I, James Marwood, do solemnly swear... , “ Speaker of the House Jim Marwood repeated.“That I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States,” the Chief Justice continued.“That I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States,” Marwood replied.“And will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States,” the Chief Justice persisted.“And will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States,” Marwood echoed.“So help me, God,” the Chief Justice finished.“So help me, God,” Marwood answered.“Congratulations, Mr. President,” the Chief Justice greeted him in the traditional manner.“Thank you, Mr. Chief Justice,” President Jim Marwood answered grimly.Now he had to run a country ... and a national campaign. His party was sure to put him in as the nominee. He’d need a Vice-President to boot, who would have to serve as his.
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